Moving in together has SO many benefits, right?! You can save money.. you can see if your guy is really husband material.. you are making a deeper commitment to one another.. Wrong! Ok, hear me out.
Getting the facts
Everyone’s relationship moves at a different pace. Some are quick to realize that they’ve found their special person, others like to play the field and take their time settling down with one person. There’s no shame in either decision, but I do want to give you some information that may help you make a decision easier when deciding to move in with that special person you’ve found.
Stepping stone to marriage
If you want to end up married to your boyfriend one day, then maybe rethink moving in together. Many women see moving in with their boyfriend as one step closer to a proposal, however, research shows that many men tend to think the exact opposite. Men participating in a study actually reveal that moving in with a girlfriend is a way to postpone marriage, or “test out” if they would want to be married to their girlfriend in the future. Additionally, couples that do end up getting married after living together first have higher divorce rates compared to those not living together before marriage. If a guy wants to “test out” what it would be like to be your husband, he’s probably not the guy for you. You deserve someone that KNOWS how amazing it would be to be your husband.
It only makes sense
Maybe moving in for you is about saving some coin. Although it sounds like a good plan to move in together, unfortunately, research doesn’t support that idea. Research proves that many couples that choose to live together actually live below the national poverty line compared to married couples of similar age and background. A study also found that almost 50% of women that live or have lived with a boyfriend experienced an unplanned pregnancy. If you are already feeling burdened by income, an unexpected pregnancy may add further stress to your situation. An unexpected pregnancy may leave you needing options information, which we are happy to provide for you!
Semi-commitment is not a commitment
Research also reveals cheating is more common in couples that choose to live together compared to their married peers. Cheating is never a comfortable thing in a relationship, but when you live with your boyfriend and cheating happens, it does make the situation complicated. You’re faced with the decision of where you’re supposed to move or where will he move, how will you come up with enough money for bills or a deposit for a new place, the list can go on and on.
So what does this all mean?
I know living together may seem like a step toward a deeper commitment, and I want you to have the commitment you desire! But research proves that if you want a long-term, committed, fulfilling relationship, waiting until after you get married to move in together is the way to go. If you’re already living with your boyfriend, I’ve been there. It may be hard to have an honest conversation about the direction of your relationship. Maybe now is the time to set a date and find a pretty white dress, or maybe you two aren’t on the same page of the direction the relationship is going. Either way, we want to be a listening ear for you. We’re here to encourage and equip you for a happy and healthy relationship. Give us a call, or email us to start the conversation today. We’re waiting to hear from you!
We’ve all heard about STDs/STIs, but how do we really know when we’ve been exposed to one?
It isn’t anyone’s place to judge you or tell you how to live, but at the CPC we do want to share with you information that can help you live your best life. Stick with me the next few paragraphs as I share with you about sexually transmitted infections and how you can protect yourself.
First thing first, condoms do not protect you completely. If used correctly, condoms can protect you from STDs/STIs that are passed through bodily fluid, but they cannot protect you from infections that are passed by skin-to-skin contact. It’s also important to mention that just because a condom is used, doesn’t mean it’s being used properly. Many times, condoms are not used correctly and that means a higher chance of contracting an STD/STI or becoming pregnant.
The chance of a person in the age group of 15-24 contracting an STD/STI is super high. It’s estimated that 1 in 4 young women in our nation has an STD. For my local ladies, Shreveport ranks #9 in the nation for the most reported STD cases. For the state of Louisiana as a whole, we rank #2 in the nation for chlamydia, #3 for gonorrhea, and #5 for syphilis. I don’t want to scare anyone, but I do want you to know how common STDs/STIs can be so you know how to protect yourself. With many STDs, the symptoms may go unnoticed for long periods of time, so it’s important to get tested regularly if you have had multiple partners.
Now that the stats are out of the way, how can you protect yourself? This answer is pretty simple, know your partner and make well informed decisions about your sexual partner(s). Research proves that long-term, monogamous relationships where both people are faithful shows a nearly 0% chance of contracting an STD/STI. Have a conversation with your partner or potential partner about sexual health and getting tested for STDs/STIs. The CPC can provide you with a list of testing sites.
The staff and volunteers at CPC don’t want to judge you or tell you how to live your life. We’re here to encourage you and provide you with helpful information about your sexual health. If you’re feeling discouraged, please know that you are so valuable and worthy of love and respect. Email us or give us a call today so we can talk with you more about your health!
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