Moving in with your boyfriend

Moving in together has SO many benefits, right?! You can save money.. you can see if your guy is really husband material.. you are making a deeper commitment to one another.. Wrong! Ok, hear me out.

Getting the facts
Everyone’s relationship moves at a different pace. Some are quick to realize that they’ve found their special person, others like to play the field and take their time settling down with one person. There’s no shame in either decision, but I do want to give you some information that may help you make a decision easier when deciding to move in with that special person you’ve found.

Stepping stone to marriage
If you want to end up married to your boyfriend one day, then maybe rethink moving in together. Many women see moving in with their boyfriend as one step closer to a proposal, however, research shows that many men tend to think the exact opposite. Men participating in a study actually reveal that moving in with a girlfriend is a way to postpone marriage, or “test out” if they would want to be married to their girlfriend in the future. Additionally, couples that do end up getting married after living together first have higher divorce rates compared to those not living together before marriage. If a guy wants to “test out” what it would be like to be your husband, he’s probably not the guy for you. You deserve someone that KNOWS how amazing it would be to be your husband.

It only makes sense
Maybe moving in for you is about saving some coin. Although it sounds like a good plan to move in together, unfortunately, research doesn’t support that idea. Research proves that many couples that choose to live together actually live below the national poverty line compared to married couples of similar age and background. A study also found that almost 50% of women that live or have lived with a boyfriend experienced an unplanned pregnancy. If you are already feeling burdened by income, an unexpected pregnancy may add further stress to your situation. An unexpected pregnancy may leave you needing options information, which we are happy to provide for you!

Semi-commitment is not a commitment
Research also reveals cheating is more common in couples that choose to live together compared to their married peers. Cheating is never a comfortable thing in a relationship, but when you live with your boyfriend and cheating happens, it does make the situation complicated. You’re faced with the decision of where you’re supposed to move or where will he move, how will you come up with enough money for bills or a deposit for a new place, the list can go on and on.

So what does this all mean?
I know living together may seem like a step toward a deeper commitment, and I want you to have the commitment you desire! But research proves that if you want a long-term, committed, fulfilling relationship, waiting until after you get married to move in together is the way to go. If you’re already living with your boyfriend, I’ve been there. It may be hard to have an honest conversation about the direction of your relationship. Maybe now is the time to set a date and find a pretty white dress, or maybe you two aren’t on the same page of the direction the relationship is going. Either way, we want to be a listening ear for you. We’re here to encourage and equip you for a happy and healthy relationship. Give us a call, or email us to start the conversation today. We’re waiting to hear from you!